Albela (2001)
Starring: Jackie Shroff, Govinda, Aishwarya Rai, Namrata Shirodkar, Saeed Jaffrey
Director: Deepak Sareen
Music Director: Jatin Lalit
Synopsis: rather uninspired piffle, nothing too offensive - just very uninteresting
Reviewed by: Faiz Khan

 

I must confess that I spent the opening few minutes of Albela rather foxed by our heroine's nationality and somewhat bewildering ethnic origins. Sonia (Aishwarya Rai) is introduced as the daughter of Austrian diplomat Boris Heinz (Saeed Jaffrey) and his late wife Jennifer Heinz, who, we are told, hailed from Malaga. Quite how Sonia manages to be thoroughly Indian, complete with a flawless Hindi accent and a sari-clad nanny in attendance, initially left me scratching my head. My confusion only deepened when the nanny explains that Sonia's mother never returned to Austria because she "did not want to leave India."

Now, unless somebody had quietly relocated Malaga from southern Spain to the Indian Ocean, none of this seemed to make the slightest geographical sense. Thankfully, all is eventually explained. The Malaga referred to here is not the Spanish city at all but a fictional island somewhere off the Indian coast—played rather attractively by Mauritius. Mystery solved.

Sonia is travelling from Vienna to Singapore when a five-hour stopover in Mumbai persuades her to make the detour to Malaga in search of her late mother's grave. There she encounters Tony (Govinda), an overweight, loud, garishly dressed and illiterate tourist guide who promptly appoints himself her travelling companion. Having just visited a fortune teller who confidently predicts that a beautiful light-eyed woman will whisk him away to everlasting happiness, Tony immediately concludes that Sonia must be his destined soulmate. Unfortunately for him, the screenplay has other ideas.

Hovering quietly in the background is Tony's neighbour Nina (Namrata Shirodkar), hopelessly in love with him despite receiving not the slightest encouragement in return. Four songs later, and well over an hour into the film, the plot has scarcely advanced beyond the revelation that Tony has fallen hopelessly in love with Sonia and remains firmly convinced that she feels exactly the same way.

At the interval comes the arrival of Prem (Jackie Shroff), whose appearance immediately unsettles Sonia. Through flashback we discover that Prem was once the love of her life, but because Boris Heinz believes himself to have been cruelly jilted by Sonia's mother, he has developed an irrational dislike of all Indians and refuses to allow the relationship to continue. Meeting Prem once again on the shores of Malaga rekindles Sonia's old feelings, while Tony remains blissfully unaware of everything that is going on around him.

Fate intervenes once again when Boris Heinz arrives on the island, discovers Prem's presence and orders Sonia back to Austria. Tony is devastated and decides to leave the island himself, while Sonia innocently invites him to visit Vienna one day. Naturally, the poor fellow mistakes this for a declaration of undying love and packs his bags, leaving behind the heartbroken Nina, who proceeds to record her bleeding heart into a tape recorder hidden inside a Pikachu toy.

Meanwhile, Sonia discovers the truth about her mother. Will she choose Tony? What happens to Prem? And what of poor Nina? The only clue I shall offer is that if it were not for good old Tweety Bird, who seems somehow to have evolved from the earlier Pikachu toy, true love might never have found its rightful path.

Albela is clearly intended as a light-hearted romantic comedy, but the screenplay simply isn't witty or charming enough to sustain what is, in truth, a rather slight idea stretched well beyond its natural limits. The result is an oddly lifeless and surprisingly uninteresting piece of beautiful garbage. Visually, however, the film is difficult to fault. Mauritius and Austria are photographed magnificently, and Aishwarya Rai spends most of the running time looking absolutely stunning while also giving a perfectly competent performance. Govinda is loud, but the role demands precisely that, although one cannot help noticing that he had begun reaching the unfortunate stage of his career where he seemed to be waddling rather than walking. One wishes he had been given a more sharply defined character that allowed him to inject a little more sparkle into the proceedings.

Jackie Shroff is perfectly adequate in what amounts to little more than an extended guest appearance, while Namrata Shirodkar performs well despite having remarkably little to do. The real revelation, however, is Saeed Jaffrey. I have rarely seen an actor of such international stature make quite such a spectacular fool of himself. His accent and mannerisms bear almost no resemblance to those of a distinguished Austrian diplomat, and the performance is unintentionally hilarious. It must surely rank among the more gloriously misguided performances of its era. That said, he provided me with some of the film's biggest laughs.

The soundtrack contains a couple of pleasant enough numbers but nothing especially memorable. Director Deepak Sareen never really finds the rhythm the film so desperately needs, punctuating the narrative with one unnecessary song after another until drowsiness begins setting in well before the first half-hour has elapsed. The film could easily have lost twenty minutes, although personally I would happily have settled for considerably more.

Albela is perfectly harmless and entirely innocuous, but that, unfortunately, is also its greatest weakness. It never excites, never surprises and rarely entertains. Attractive to look at though it may be, it finally drifts into terminal boredom.

Yawn.