Dhaai Akshar Prem Ke (2000)
Starring: Abhishek Bachchan Aishwarya Rai
Director: Raj kanwar
Music Director: Jatin Lalit
Synopsis: another uninspired re-run of Dilwale Dulhania.....or A Walk in the Clouds
Reviewed by: Faiz Khan

 

The film opens with our beautiful heroine Sahiba (Aishwarya Rai) sitting on a jhoola, her feet skimming the water, while words of love echo in the background. She dreams of romance, wondering who the man she will eventually fall in love with will be. Cut to the next scene and our hero appears, wielding two handguns and dispatching terrorists amidst deafening explosions.

This is Captain Karan (Abhishek Bachchan) of the Indian Army, just about to begin two months' leave so that he can spend time with his beloved Nisha (Sonali Bendre). Cue the obligatory song and dance routine with hero and heroine. On his journey home, however, a frightened young woman rushes into his arms seeking protection as a gang of thugs pursue her. She has witnessed a murder and the killers are now after her as well. Having rescued her, it transpires that she has another, rather more pressing concern. Not the fact that murderous goondas are trying to kill her, but that she had lied to her family by claiming she was married when she wasn't and now has no idea how to face them. Captain Karan, gallant soul that he is, decides to help the damsel in distress and accompanies her home, where he is promptly mistaken for her husband. No surprises there really.

The family consists of the usual leftovers from films such as Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, Hum Aapke Hain Koun and countless others—the bhabhis, the children, the doting grandmother, the stern father. There is nothing remotely novel here. Karan repeatedly tries to tell them the truth, his most earnest effort being the standard "Main woh nahin hoon jo aap samajh rahe hain," fully expecting someone to actually listen. Naturally nobody does. Thanks to assorted interruptions including storms, grandmother suffering a stroke (which miraculously lasts all of one day before she is happily singing and dancing again), and Karan's own longing to experience the warmth of a family because he is an orphan, he simply cannot bring himself to leave.

Meanwhile poor old Nisha continues pining for him.

Having endeared himself to everyone except the stern father (Amrish Puri), Karan suddenly finds himself in an even bigger predicament when poor Sahiba's morning sickness leads the entire family to conclude that she is pregnant—which, of course, is rather impossible. Suddenly even the father embraces Karan with open arms before promptly bursting into song. Oops... so now what? Karan decides the time has finally come to sneak away. Instead of helping the poor girl, however, he has merely succeeded in digging both himself and Sahiba into an even deeper hole. She, meanwhile, professes undying love for him, something the audience learns almost entirely through one dream sequence after another, each seemingly duller than the last. Eventually Karan leaves to reunite with his true love, Nisha.

How this triangle resolves itself is hardly the issue. Raj Kanwar's film is yet another lift from A Walk in the Clouds, that thoroughly forgettable Keanu Reeves vehicle which seemed tailor-made to become a Bollywood remake. Govinda already had a go with Kunwara, supposedly a hilarious comedy which wasn't remotely funny, while this version aims to be a lyrical and simple love story. Sadly, it isn't that either.

There isn't an ounce of novelty anywhere. The entire film plays like a pale rerun of Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge and every other feel-good family drama that has appeared over the past few years. It becomes tiring when every character seems borrowed from somewhere else. Amrish Puri is virtually reprising his Dilwale role, Anupam Kher appears to have wandered in from Lamhe or Dilwale, Himani Shivpuri could have been lifted from almost any recent release, while Sonali Bendre once again finds herself relegated to second fiddle behind Aishwarya Rai. In fact, this three-hour film feels closer to five. It is one hell of a bore.

Abhishek, in only his third outing, is perfectly adequate. There is nothing really to criticise but equally very little to applaud. Aishwarya Rai looks absolutely stunning but fails to inject any genuine feeling into Sahiba. Once again, much of the blame lies with the director. The chemistry between Abhishek and Aishwarya simply isn't there. Their romance is developed not through well-written scenes but through endless dream songs filmed in deserts, Switzerland and every other picturesque foreign location imaginable.

Raj Kanwar could have done something worthwhile with this material but instead simply borrows from films that have gone before and delivers yet another limp and lacklustre effort.

You won't see me going back for seconds here.