Eight Legged Freaks! (2002)
Cast: David Arquette, Karu Wuhrer, Scarlett Johansson, Scott Terra
Director: Ellory Elkayem
Synopsis: A small American town is overrun by giant mutated spiders - spiffing fun!
Reviewed by: Omar Khan

 

Thanks largely to Anaconda, creature features suddenly seemed to be rolling out thicker and faster than ever before. We'd already been hearing plenty of buzz surrounding the then-in-production Arachnid, and almost every trip to the video store appeared to bring a welcome proliferation of new additions to the Creature Feature section. Sharks, crocodiles, alligators, Komodo dragons, king cobras, pythons, boas, octopuses—you name it. If it bit (and even if it didn't), it was being hauled into action thanks not only to the success of Anaconda but also to the arrival of cheap, affordable and increasingly convincing CGI creature effects.

Eight Legged Freaks arrives with its tongue planted firmly in its cheek even before the film begins, its advertising promising comic-book-style fun rather than apocalyptic horror. It's exactly the right approach considering the subject matter. This spoofy cousin of Tremors features a mostly likeable cast headed by the eternally goofy David Arquette, supported by Kari Wuhrer, who already possessed creature-feature credentials having previously been devoured by the famous CGI Anaconda. The supporting cast is an equally wacky assortment of colourful characters, but the real stars of the show are the sensational eight-legged beasts themselves, bounding around with infectious enthusiasm as they gleefully hunt down their prey.

The plot follows almost the perfect blueprint for a classic 1950s creature feature. Some nasty contaminated chemicals (nuclear, naturally!?) are accidentally spilt into a local pond, with alarming consequences for the area's spider population. Unfortunately for the unfortunate residents, the town also happens to be home to a ramshackle spider farm run by one of the local eccentrics, containing every exotic and deadly species imaginable. It isn't long before the contaminated water begins taking its toll and, in next to no time, the spiders have transformed into gigantic, bloodthirsty monsters hurtling around at terrifying speed and attacking anything unlucky enough to cross their path.

The scares inevitably play second fiddle to the laughs, just as they did in Tremors, the film to which this bears more than a passing resemblance. It is difficult to dislike something as light-hearted and good-natured as this and, for what it's worth, Eight Legged Freaks is streets ahead of the rather turgid Arachnophobia. Yet there remains something missing from the overall experience that is surprisingly difficult to put one's finger on. Perhaps it simply isn't scary enough. Perhaps it isn't quite funny enough. Or perhaps it just fails to bring anything genuinely fresh to the genre beyond its magnificent CGI spiders.

Eight Legged Freaks is certainly an entertaining ride but, somehow, one cannot escape the feeling that there should have been a little more to it. Once the novelty of marvelling at the wonderfully realised spiders and their spectacular antics has worn off, there really isn't a great deal else to take away. Even the climax, when it finally arrives, feels little more than an extension of everything that has gone before.

Creature-feature addicts should emerge more than satisfied, particularly those looking for laughs rather than genuine scares, but Eight Legged Freaks ultimately pales beside its older and wiser cousin, Tremors. Had it been written by the people responsible for Lake Placid, this might just have become a modern classic.