Elaan (2005)
Cast: Mithun, Arjun Rampal, John Abraham, Rahul Khanna, Amisha Patel, Lara Dutta
Director: Vikram Bhatt
Music Director: Anu Malik
Synopsis: Horrendous and utterly misguided "tribute" to Sholay
Reviewed by: Faiz Khan

 

Vikram Bhatt serves up his grotesque tribute to Sholay, all revamped and digitalised, shot in exotic foreign locations and entirely devoid of intelligence. Bigger certainly isn't better in this case. Bhatt invariably seems to produce his weakest work whenever he is handed big stars and outside producers. Could anyone possibly have forgotten the dreadful Aap Mujhe Achche Lagne Lage? Looking at his body of work, can one honestly point to an ounce of originality in any of his subjects? True, he has given us impressive adaptations such as Ghulam and Raaz, but surely one cannot live off past laurels forever.

Baba Sikander (Mithun Chakraborty), a gangster loosely modelled on the likes of Chhota Chetan, though in the most cardboard fashion imaginable, lives somewhere in Europe and conducts his extortion empire almost entirely by mobile phone, surrounded by a permanent entourage of interchangeable hoodlums while issuing threats to wealthy Indian businessman Kantilal Shah. His adopted son Karan (Rahul Khanna) urges him not to bow to the gangster's demands, while his sister (Ritu Shivpuri) insists that he should. Inevitably, Kantilal is murdered by Baba Sikander, and Karan is blamed by his own sister for encouraging their father to stand firm.

Karan now decides to bring the culprit back to India and somehow concludes that the only way to achieve this is to assemble a crack team capable of succeeding where every law enforcement agency has apparently failed. His first recruit is Arjun (Arjun Rampal), a suspended policeman who was dismissed after murdering the thugs responsible for killing his wife. Although he has a young daughter and initially hesitates, he suddenly decides to help Karan for no particularly convincing reason whatsoever. They then recruit tapori rogue Abhimanyu (John Abraham), who also has a personal score to settle after being double-crossed by Baba Sikander.

Meanwhile, the obligatory romantic subplot arrives in the form of Priya (Amisha Patel), a journalist who smells a "story" and relentlessly pursues Karan with cameras, recording devices and every conceivable journalistic gimmick, eventually blackmailing her way into the expedition. The gang of three promptly becomes a gang of four. Soon afterwards they are joined by Sonia (Lara Dutta), a dancer working in a nightclub in Venice who also happens to be Abhimanyu's girlfriend, conveniently swelling the party to five.

The Fantastic Five then embark upon the task of tracking down the loathsome Baba Sikander, who predictably manages to elude them at every turn. What follows are the usual assortment of chase scenes, endless shoot-outs, exploding cars and assorted action set-pieces, all intended to leave the audience breathless against the magnificent backdrop of Venice. For anyone still awake by this stage, however, these action scenes merely prolong the agony that sets in remarkably early. Predictably, justice finally prevails in one of the limpest and least exciting climaxes to emerge in recent memory.

What on earth possessed Mithun Chakraborty to accept this appalling role is anyone's guess. He proceeds to ham it up with reckless abandon. Poor Rahul Khanna spends much of the film looking thoroughly bewildered by the dialogue he has been given, delivering each line as though someone were holding a gun to his head. He possesses a certain natural charm but is hopelessly unconvincing as an avenging hero. In fact, there is something unintentionally hilarious about watching him mouth these hopelessly clichéd lines because it is painfully obvious that he doesn't believe a word he is saying. He is clearly modelled on Sanjeev Kumar's character from Sholay, while Arjun Rampal fills Amitabh Bachchan's shoes and John Abraham is drafted in as Dharmendra.

You really have to see the film to appreciate just how preposterous the whole exercise becomes.

Arjun Rampal emerges slightly better than the others, although he still fails to convince as a fully accomplished performer. The honours therefore go comfortably to John Abraham, who is by far the most entertaining presence in the film.

Two Amisha Patel films in the space of a fortnight are enough to put anyone off the cinema altogether. Before one has had time to recover from her previous catastrophe (Vaada), she appears here once again as Miss Perfect, complete with immaculate lipstick, perfectly outlined lips, not a hair out of place and dressed in the skimpiest outfits imaginable while supposedly playing an investigative journalist. Being Vikram Bhatt's girlfriend at the time presumably meant she was expected to provide a little glamour and plenty of exposed leg to attract audiences, but the effect is precisely the opposite. She is simply dreadful, and the less said about her performance, the better. Lara Dutta fares slightly better, although that really isn't saying very much.

Anu Malik's music is dreadful.

Then again, so is the film.