Dark Harvest (2004)
Cast: Don Diguulio, Jeanie Cheek, Jennifer Leigh, B.W. York, Aimee Cox
Director: Paul Moore
Synopsis: Scarecrows come out to wreak revenge on a group of hideous revelers
Reviewed by: Omar Khan

 

This straight-to-video shocker from Lions Gate boasts a premise full of potential. Set in the drought-stricken farming country of West Virginia in 1932, it introduces a community devastated by famine, with the notable exception of one farmer whose crops continue to flourish despite the scorched earth around him. Could the secret lie in his unusually lifelike scarecrows? Might there be a connection between the growing number of mysterious disappearances and Farmer Baker's remarkable good fortune?

Evidently so, as an old crone is only too happy to explain before the mayhem begins.

Many years later, Sean Connell, a thoroughly unlikeable creep saddled with a massive—and entirely deserving—airhead of a girlfriend, discovers he has inherited an old farmhouse in West Virginia. We also learn that he is the direct descendant of Farmer Baker, who was killed in a shoot-out after the authorities came to investigate his rather unconventional farming "methods".

Mystifyingly persuaded by his airhead companion that it would be great fun to spend a weekend there, Sean heads deep into Harlan County with a carload of equally unattractive, moronic friends. To ensure every horror cliché is dutifully ticked off, the group also includes a lesbian couple, seemingly present for no other reason than to provide the obligatory gratuitous topless scene later on.

Naturally, the gang receives the customary warnings from a couple of eccentric locals.

"Why would you want to go there, son? That place ain't no good."

And so on.

Cocky Sean, armed with a sackful of bad jokes and even worse one-liners, leads the party to the old farmhouse, where we are forced to endure almost an hour of painfully written banter delivered by a cast of thoroughly awful actors. Ironically, this first hour turns out to be the better two-thirds of the entire film. Once the action finally begins, matters deteriorate from merely poor to genuinely dreadful.

The sinister scarecrows, initially quite an eerie concept, quickly degenerate into little more than men wearing scarecrow costumes who behave like bargain-basement versions of the killers from the Scream films. The acting, atrocious from the outset, descends into complete farce, while the kitchen-sink special effects and bargain-basement gore merely add to the unintentional comedy.

This zero-budget effort has clearly taken more than a little inspiration from the Jeepers Creepers films, borrowing not only the scarecrow imagery that featured so effectively in the sequel but also introducing a "Bad Moon" mythology that unleashes twenty-four hours of supernatural evil. Unfortunately, what begins as a reasonably promising concept is hopelessly botched. The plot rapidly dissolves into incoherent nonsense, while the entire cast proves so spectacularly unlikeable that one finds oneself wishing they would become scarecrow fodder at the earliest possible opportunity.

Add to that the smug, self-consciously clever dialogue, the horrid performances and special effects that look as though they have been borrowed from a low-budget South Indian horror film, and the result is a movie that consistently squanders every ounce of promise its premise initially held.

Which is perhaps the greatest disappointment of all.

There is actually the germ of a decent horror film buried somewhere inside Dark Harvest. With a stronger screenplay, a more competent cast and a director capable of sustaining atmosphere instead of merely throwing gore at the screen, this might have developed into an effective slice of rural supernatural horror.

Instead, it becomes yet another case of a striking DVD cover concealing ninety minutes of mediocrity.

A nice DVD sleeve...

shame about the contents within.

An entirely forgettable experience, and a fairly safe bet that none of the principal cast would be troubling the multiplexes in the weeks—or perhaps even the years—to follow. One gets the distinct impression that Caroline and Paul Moore simply found themselves with too much spare time, too much money and a willing group of friends, and decided to make a horror film.

They really shouldn't have bothered.