Boom (2003)
Cast: Amitabh Bachchan, Jackie Shroff, Zeenat Aman, Madhu Sapre, Katrina Kaif
Director: Kaizad Gustad
Music by: Talvin Singh
Synopsis: Horrendous attempt at doing a Tarantino - easily the worst film of 2003!
Reviewed by: Faiz Khan

Measured by any yardstick, "Boom" is the worst film of the year, and it is difficult to imagine anything surpassing it for sheer awfulness. *Boom* is all gloom and doom and, quite honestly, a film of such utter distaste that it shocks more through its incompetence than through its already dire content. This is a hideously distorted, self-indulgent effort, maniacal in execution and utterly devoid of redeeming qualities.

 The film opens with three supermodels—Anu (Madhu Sapre), Sheila (Padma Lakshmi) and Rina (Katrina Kaif)—at a fashion show, where Anu trips on the catwalk and ends up in a full-blown brawl with another model. During the ensuing catfight, crores worth of stolen diamonds spill from the woman's hair, prompting a frantic scramble to recover them. Quite how everyone instantly recognises them as genuine diamonds is anyone's guess.

 Enter Bade Mia (Amitabh Bachchan), the "most wanted man in Dubai", a figure dressed almost entirely in white and clearly intended as a caricature of the traditionally black-clad Mafia don. Naturally, he wants his diamonds back.

 The models are duly held responsible for the loss, and the gangsters give them an ultimatum: recover the diamonds or pay for them. Thus begins a contest between the models and the mobsters to see who can outwit whom. "Charlie's Angels" soon rears its head, and off we go on a bizarre rollercoaster ride that is supposedly an exposé of the underworld and its connections with the fashion industry.

 It could have formed the basis of an entertaining Hollywood caper from the 1960s, but instead it veers spectacularly off course. Vulgar and frequently bordering on the obscene, director Kaizad Gustad seems to have no real idea where his film is heading. He opts instead for an anarchic black comedy that occasionally raises a smile but, by and large, fails catastrophically because it has no structure, no coherent story and ultimately adds up to absolutely nothing.

 It is not a spoof. It is not a satire. Although it clearly aspires to be a black comedy, it falls hopelessly flat.

 Gustad does score the occasional minor success. The "Dum Maro Dum" sequence, with Zeenat Aman performing for her thoroughly disinterested boss, raises the odd chuckle. Likewise, there is a playful nod to "10", with Bo Derek emerging from the sea some twenty years later, this time dressed in a sari. As the object of countless male fantasies, the joke behind the director's choice is reasonably obvious.

 Unfortunately, these moments are few and far between.

 Gustad is clearly aiming for a Tarantino-esque style, but he fails miserably in both style and substance. Tarantino's films may be eccentric and violent, but they are built upon strong scripts with a clear sense of direction. "Boom" travels in only one direction: straight down the toilet.

 Amitabh Bachchan presumably saw the role as an opportunity to do something different: an outrageously over-the-top performance with a touch of the bizarre. Sadly, it simply doesn't work. Watching him here brought to mind Sean Connery's infamous appearance in "The Avengers". Zeenat Aman brings a certain élan to her role as the secretary, and her "Dum Maro Dum" sequence may raise the occasional snigger. Jackie Shroff is dreadful, while as for the models, the less said the better.

Gustad set out to shock his audience. He certainly succeeds—but only by producing a complete pile of rubbish. By any standard, "Boom" is a dreadful cinematic experience.

 Awful.