Gujjar Badshah (1994)
Cast: Sultan Rahi, Anjuman, Mustafa Qureshi, Bahar, Reema
Director: Masood Butt
Synopsis: Tripped out violence, slobbering pot-bellied goons, sirens, rapes – typical fare.
Reviewed by: Omar Khan

Gujjar Badshah is undoubtedly one of the most annoying and downright stupid films I’ve ever watched. Entirely my fault, as no one had asked me to take on the arduous task of reviewing the dregs of Lollywood fodder.

Lollywood dregs can get disturbingly putrid, as those who have watched the notorious Pindi Wal and Club Dancer and Khatarnaak will testify. Bursting with crudity and innuendo and masters of the simulated “by proxy” sexual act, these films sometimes strike one as more pornographically perverse than anything bearing an X certificate.

Gujjar Badshah plunges to depths of crudity that I have yet to witness. Here is filmmaking that makes Pink Flamingos look like a big studio production—seriously, this is filmmaking at an astonishingly artless and basic level. The film has absolutely no semblance of a plot, and those who will argue that it does—please feel free to enlighten us.

The story involves a big fat greasy turd who wants to be known as the prime Kingpin of Lahore and act like current local Tik-Tok stars who pose daily with their imprisoned cats, cars and chamchas, driving around in a cavalcade of SUVs surrounded by a posse of armed goon. A very 80s Colombian drug baron life.

Things get more complex when our hero, Gujjar Badshah, proclaims that no King of Lahore can exist other than the great Daata Sahib. So basically, the film is a series of absolutely hysterical clashes of ego between various horrendously attired hoods.

Gujjar Superman, Sultan Rahi, plays Gujjar with his adversary played by Mustafa Qureshi. There are countless scenes manufactured to showcase their shouting capabilities and ability to look threatening, and it doesn’t work, and both look like complete fools.

As usual for Lollywood productions, there are trademark scenes of the degradation of women. Women are being abducted, murdered, beaten and raped every few minutes, and it seems that all this is the norm. For a nation where honour killing is so prevalent, it is hardly surprising to see the brutalisation of women that appears to be the norm for these films—barely recovered from the horrors of watching Daku Rani with its ghastly scenes of woman baiting. Gujjar Badshah was more of the same, done with more crudity, as though it was a matter-of-fact event for women abducted off the streets or even in their homes.

If Gujjar Badshah can be seen as a reflection of society when it was created, it is a terrifying vision. The film is a shoddily put-together series of slanging matches between the protagonists, with dialogues that are meant to arouse and were probably written by a six-year-old. There is a remarkable scene where even a young schoolboy is shown to be the epitome of a typical Punjabi movie hero with the striding walk, the twisted OTT machismo, the chest-thumping mannerisms and the need to shout in a very aggressive way.

Gujjar Badshah There are a couple of ultra-sleazy looking sub-heroes thrown in the mix. A hefty and ageing Anjuman provides the pyrotechnics during the song sequences and shows the junior brigade why she ruled for two decades at the pinnacle of Lollywood siren hood. Besides a few saucy, super-energetic numbers, she has nothing to do except put up with the usual attempted rape scenes. Master Macho Man, Sultan Rahi, carries the day with a role that he had made entirely his own by the time of his unfortunate and untimely murder in reality. He repeats his simple, golden, lion-hearted village bumpkin role to perfection, and he looks particularly unkempt, which seems to be “the look”. It’s a horrid film in every respect, lacking even the sense of humour or the overt camp that can make such movies just about tolerable for their duration. This one doesn’t pass the test and is a severe endurance test of patience. It’s difficult to recall a worse film than this atrocity. One near-saving grace might be the outlandish garb worn by all and sundry, plus the quite fabulous set of wigs used by the players. The stabbing scene makes the shower scene in Psycho appear like Sesame Street in comparison. Also, this movie contained less than ten rape or attempted rape scenes, which can be seen as a significant step towards emancipation!?