Hulchul (2004)
Cast: Akshaye Khanna, Kareena, Sunil Shetty, Jackie Shroff, Paresh Rawal, Arbaaz
Director: Priyadarshan
Music Director: Vidhyasagar
Synopsis: A rather dismal attempt at creating the magic of Hera Pheri
Reviewed by: Faiz Khan

 

Hera Pheri is a classic—a hilarious farce, wonderfully acted and very cleverly put together. Priyadarshan followed it with Yeh Tera Ghar Yeh Mera Ghar, an utterly vacuous bore of a movie, and then Hungama last year, a reasonably amusing film carried largely by its three principal stars: Akshaye Khanna, Aftab Shivdasani and Paresh Rawal.

Going by his track record, it was time for the director to fail again...and he certainly doesn't disappoint on that score.

Hulchul is a loud, noisy and painfully crass film, often so puerile that it becomes genuinely exhausting to watch.

For a film that's supposed to be a comedy, it opens with patriarch Angaarchand (Amrish Puri) summoning his four sons to arms to rescue a poor man supposedly imprisoned by Anpara Devi's goons—or so one initially believes. Everything is staged at such a frantic pitch that it's difficult to make much sense of what actually happens during the first fifteen minutes.

The quartet—Paresh Rawal, Jackie Shroff, Arbaaz Khan and Akshaye Khanna—arrive to free the captive, or so it seems, before the film abruptly cuts, courtesy of some bizarre editing and a thoroughly jerky narrative, to college life. Here we meet Anjali (Kareena Kapoor), who abandons her studies midway in order to marry the son of a politician.

The foursome promptly arrive and stop the wedding, earning the wrath of Anpara Devi (Laxmi), who proceeds to go gloriously berserk, wig flying in every direction in true South Indian melodramatic fashion.

Anpara Devi, as it turns out, is Anjali's grandmother—and, before long, the thorn in everybody's side.

She too has four sons, the most level-headed being Veeru (Suniel Shetty). By now, one almost wishes Jeetu would make a reappearance with his matkas just to calm the nerves, already battered by thirty relentless minutes of noise. It gradually becomes clear that we've wandered back into Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak territory, with two families locked in a bitter feud.

It's a premise that has been done to death—pun fully intended—and forms the backbone of this painfully unfunny film.

Anjali returns to college, where she is relentlessly teased by Jai (Akshaye Khanna), the youngest member of Angaarchand's clan and a fellow student. Returning home in frustration, Granny devises what she considers a masterstroke.

"Anjali must pretend to fall in love with Jai."

Staggered by this dazzling originality, Anjali heads back to college, armed with hot pants, skimpy skirts and precious little else, determined to weave a web around Jai. Jai, meanwhile, acting on the advice of his friend (Arshad Warsi, who once again almost walks away with every scene he appears in), decides to pretend to fall in love with her as well.

Predictably, pretend affection slowly becomes the real thing.

The pair are eventually spotted by Veeru, who finally reveals to Anjali the true origin of the feud. A girl from one family loved a boy from the other and eloped with him. She was dragged back home by her mother, somebody shot somebody's wife, somebody else retaliated by shooting somebody's husband...and so the vendetta spiralled on.

Anjali decides to tell Jai the truth and somehow bring the two families together.

Jai, however, continues behaving like an overgrown child.

Given that this is a comedy, are we really expecting another QSQT-style bloodbath? Or will true love finally unite the warring clans?

No prizes for guessing the answer.

Priyadarshan simply cannot rise above this raucous and outdated screenplay. The result is a chaotic collection of scenes that never cohere into a satisfying whole. The film barely raises the occasional titter, let alone the sustained laughter it so desperately strives for.

Having once given us the magnificent Hera Pheri, one wonders whether Priyadarshan will spend the rest of his career chasing another such triumph. On the evidence here, he remains a very long way from achieving it.

Can somebody please bring back a little simplicity?

Where did Basu Chatterjee disappear to?

Akshaye Khanna gives an outrageously over-the-top performance and seems to be having enormous fun hamming it up at every available opportunity. Kareena Kapoor, by contrast, appears strangely lifeless. She looks distracted throughout and never injects the role with any real spark.

Among the remaining noisy ensemble, Suniel Shetty emerges with the most dignity intact. For those of us who grew up with Hindi films of the 1960s and '70s, it's also something of a shock to see Laxmi—Julie*'s unforgettable "My Heart Is Beating" girl—return as this wildly unhinged matriarch.

Vidyasagar's music at least shows some promise. There is melody in the score and a welcome attempt to sound a little different.

Overall, however, Hulchul is a major disappointment, recommended only for the puerile and the exceptionally strong-willed who can actually make it through to the closing credits.

I certainly couldn't.