Hum Kisise Kum Nahin (2002)
Cast: Amitabh Bachchan, Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgun and Aishwarya Rai
Director: David Dhawan
Music Director: Anu Malik
Synopsis: Looks like David Dhawan has arrived at a very dead end
Reviewed by: Faiz Khan

 

Analyse This.

We have local don Munna Bhai (Sanjay Dutt), aided by his faithful stool pigeons Munna Mobile and Pappu Pager, who comes across the leotard-clad beauty Komal (Aishwarya Rai). She promptly tells this hulking gangster off as though he were a naughty schoolboy, wagging her finger and ordering him to apologise.

"Sorry bolo."

At that very moment, our local don loses not only his heart but seemingly every last ounce of common sense. Completely smitten, he can no longer think straight, function properly or even confront his enemies without breaking into tears or making a complete belly flop in front of them.

Naturally, his bewildered sidekicks seek out Dr Rastogi (Amitabh Bachchan) in the hope of finding a cure for their boss's rather unusual illness.

Dr Rastogi, incidentally, appears to be a GP, surgeon, psychiatrist and miracle worker rolled into one. He pulls a stethoscope out of his pocket to examine potential carjackers, writes prescriptions on the bonnets of stolen cars and even hands out money while dispensing medical advice. Little does the good doctor realise that the object of Munna's affections happens to be his own sister, Komal.

Komal, meanwhile, is happily romancing the fairly useless Raja (Ajay Devgn), who also happens to save Munna's life at one point.

Komal and Dr Rastogi then head off to Malaysia to meet a prospective groom for her, taking Raja along as a bodyguard. Raja, however, has his own rather silly agenda. Pretending to be hopelessly in love with Komal simply to provoke her overprotective brother, he succeeds rather too well, prompting the doctor to employ this very buffoon as her personal bodyguard.

It is all rather silly, really.

Once Munna's love for Komal becomes public knowledge, the stage appears to be set for a battle between Raja and Munna for the lady's affections. Unfortunately, Komal only loves Raja, so there is precious little battle to be fought. Instead, she takes the Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam route, and to reveal anything further would spoil what little amusement remains for the handful of viewers patient enough to reach this point.

David Dhawan, who clearly believes comedy to be his forte (though many may disagree), remakes the moderately amusing Robert De Niro-Billy Crystal comedy Analyse This and somehow manages to produce a film that is neither genuinely slapstick nor remotely witty. It simply plods from one laborious scene to another without ever finding a comic rhythm.

On paper, the combination of David Dhawan, Amitabh Bachchan, Sanjay Dutt, Ajay Devgn and Aishwarya Rai ought to have been irresistible.

Instead, it never gels and ends up as a colossal waste of talent.

Amitabh Bachchan is an actor capable of almost anything, yet he is badly let down by the material. He pitches his performance in broad slapstick mode, but the laughs never arrive.

Sanjay Dutt is, frankly, something of an embarrassment. One cannot help thinking that perhaps someone like Govinda, with his instinctive comic timing, might have brought the necessary balance to the role.

Ajay Devgn appears to be along merely for the ride—perhaps for a complimentary holiday in Malaysia, or perhaps to mend fences with David Dhawan after publicly deriding him earlier in his career. If so, one begins to understand why.

Aishwarya Rai spends most of the film looking every inch the glamour queen, all polish and perfection but with very little warmth or emotional involvement. She is all plastic and precious little heart.

Anu Malik somehow surpasses even himself with what must rank among his weakest musical scores.

The film is not actively offensive.

It is simply hideously boring.

One to miss.