Kahin Pyar Na Ho Jaye (2000)
Starring: Salman Khan, Rani Mukherjee, Jackie Shroff, Pooja Batra, Raveena Tandon, Mohnish Bahl
Director: K Murli Mohan Rao
Music Director: Himesh Reshammiya
Synopsis: An intended comedy that is more like a tragi-comedy
Reviewed by: Faiz Khan

 

 

Very little was known about this film until quite recently, when the music hit the stands along with a series of promising trailers. From what little one had seen and heard, it certainly appeared to have plenty going for it—a good cast, an attractive score and slick-looking promos. Mind you, I always become a little suspicious whenever a film suddenly crawls out of nowhere with very little publicity, particularly when it is released just before Ramzan.

The film opens with a wedding, where Tiger (Jackie Shroff) is extolling the virtues of marriage to anyone prepared to listen. Onto the stage bounds the resident wedding singer, Prem (Salman Khan), belting out one of his customary numbers. We then move to his home, where he eagerly awaits the arrival of his beloved Nisha, whom the rest of his family—his sister, brother-in-law and two nieces—have never met. Actually, one of those nieces spends much of the film impersonating Michael Jackson, so one occasionally wonders whether the director intended her to be a nephew instead.

Into the household wanders Priya (Rani Mukherjee), sneezing her way through the front door. Naturally, everyone mistakes her for Nisha while Prem is busy changing his clothes. The lure of freshly made bhajjiyas proves far too much for Priya, who happily settles down to gorge herself before revealing her true identity. Prem soon exposes her deception and what follows is a thoroughly demented scuffle, apparently intended by the director to qualify as uproarious slapstick. Thankfully, neighbour Pooja Batra arrives just in time to rescue her long-lost cousin, who had merely been searching for the correct address.

The stage is now set.

Priya has arrived to earn some money as a wedding videographer to help finance her mother's forthcoming marriage. Her mother, meanwhile, is determined to marry her off to whoever she considers suitable. Prem and Priya soon become close friends, and although Nisha (Raveena Tandon) was supposedly due to arrive two months later, she conveniently appears much earlier than expected. Prem promptly slips a ring onto her finger, even though she seems desperately keen to tell him something.

Before long, everyone is gathered for the wedding ceremony.

Except that the bride never arrives.

Fortunately, Nisha has not jilted our hero at the altar merely for dramatic effect. She has a suitably tragic backstory. Her younger brother is suffering from cancer and, with Prem showing little prospect of ever earning a decent living, she chooses instead to marry Rahul, an NRI capable of financing her brother's treatment. Heartbroken, Prem turns to the bottle. Priya worries about him, but our hero continues getting gloriously drunk on a daily basis.

Then one day Priya summons Prem to repair a leaking tap. Water sprays everywhere, our hero becomes thoroughly drenched and, naturally, off comes the shirt. Priya kindly towels him dry and—boom—our hero is back in love all over again. The romance proves short-lived, however, because Priya promptly arrives with an invitation to her engagement, also to an NRI named Rahul. Poor Prem's heart is broken yet again.

Will love triumph over misunderstanding? Will Prem finally declare his feelings? Does Priya actually care?

The logo accompanying the film proudly proclaims that "Marriages are made in Heaven", and that is clearly intended to be the central theme. Karan Johar explored similar territory in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and fashioned one of the finest romantic Hindi films of recent years. Yash Chopra also built Dil To Pagal Hai around the notion that somewhere there exists one person destined for each of us. Both films succeeded because they possessed charm, spontaneity and genuine emotional warmth.

This film possesses none of those qualities.

The characters are cardboard cut-outs, the situations feel contrived, and the emotions appear forced from beginning to end.

The film is supposedly a comedy, yet very little of it is remotely funny. Indeed, much of the humour descends into outright puerility. Consider, for example, an early scene in which Priya telephones her mother before showering affection on someone called Rocky, sending kisses down the line while Prem listens in bewilderment. Since we, the audience, already know Rocky is merely the family dog, there is absolutely no comic surprise when Priya later tells Prem that Rocky sleeps with her every night and, in her absence, sleeps with her mother instead—sometimes even with both of them together. Prem, naturally, assumes Rocky is her boyfriend and is astonished by the family's apparent liberalism. It is intended as comedy. In reality, it is simply juvenile and remarkably unfunny.

Salman Khan could almost have walked straight out of Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega... and onto this set. He is virtually playing the same character all over again—wide-eyed, childish and endlessly puerile. Fortunately, the role demands very little emotional range because every potentially serious scene is immediately undercut by attempts at humour. His confrontation with Nisha, where he finally learns why she abandoned him, ought to have been genuinely moving. Instead, one simply wishes the film would hurry along to the next scene. We feel nothing because we already know exactly where the story is heading. Salman fans need not worry, however. The obligatory shirtless scenes have been thoughtfully included to showcase his enviable physique.

Rani Mukherjee is given surprisingly little to do. Pooja Batra contributes even less and continues to display an alarming knack for choosing poor roles. Ironically, Kashmera Shah, as Prem's sister, enjoys a stronger role than either of the principal heroines. Jackie Shroff is a complete mystery. Quite what possessed him to accept this part is anyone's guess. Mohnish Bahl manages to raise the occasional smile, though only in brief bursts.

The screenplay clings desperately to its single idea—that marriages are made in heaven—and stretches it to breaking point through endless misunderstandings and repetitive situations. The wafer-thin story simply plods on and on until it becomes almost impossible to remain engaged. By the time the film ended, I found myself struggling to remember the sequence of events that had preceded it.

There are fleeting moments when one feels the basic premise might actually have made a pleasant romantic comedy. Somewhere beneath all the clutter lies the germ of a decent film. Unfortunately, that film never emerges. Whatever goodwill I still had evaporated completely upon realising that this was, in essence, another adaptation—this time of The Wedding Singer with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore.

The director never seems entirely certain what sort of film he wants to make. Songs erupt at the most inappropriate moments, seemingly inserted simply because a commercial Hindi film requires songs. That is particularly unfortunate because the soundtrack is actually rather good. Sadly, I suspect it will disappear almost as quickly as the film itself. Throughout the running time, I was plagued by a sense of déjà vu, not because I had seen the film before, but because it constantly reminded me of far better films such as Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Dil To Pagal Hai. Compared with those, this is quite an ordeal.

Only for those looking to avoid a visit to the dentist. Personally, I'd rather sit through a root canal than have to endure this one again.