Mera Naam Raja (1978)
Cast: Habib, Naghma, Sangeeta, Munawar Zareef, Mussarat Shaheen
Director: Hamid Usmani
Synopsis: Bond-inspired caper promises much but fails to live up to its spectacular poster
Reviewed by: Omar Khan

An intriguing, animated title sequence to some plagiarized R.D. Burman title music (Yaadon ki Baraat) promises great things. Then, there is a particularly mysterious shoot-out, after which a shadowy figure takes a pistol and plants it in a secret compartment carved into the witness box in a courtroom. The next day, during a court trial, a nefarious diamond thief makes good his getaway, using the planted pistol to great effect. We find that Habib (Raja) is the diamond smuggler, but in fact, he isn’t a diamond smuggler at all but is using the title as a means by which he could gain access to the criminal underworld.

One day, wealthy socialite Farzana’s Mercedes breaks down, and she is attacked by some goons, only to be rescued by Raja in the nick of time. Soon enough, love blossoms between the rescuer and the rescued, with Raja enchanting Naghma in little time.

We follow the exploits of happy-go-lucky Raja, who appears to be hot on the trail of a gang of villains whose boss is Talish, father of the luscious Farzana (Naghma). Unfortunately, what should have been a wild and wacky pseudo-Bond caper turns out to be a chaotic mess from the very outset and never recovers from the chaos of the film’s dreadful script.

It is revealed that Raja’s accidental sidekick’s mute sister was gang raped (as shown in a very gratuitous flashback), and he is out to avenge those who perpetrated the horror. Munawar Zareef plays Raja’s sidekick; together, they provide much highly tedious slapstick-style comedy to proceedings.

There is much light comedy (too much), inane frolicking, and some very forgettable songs, including a huge “piya tu ab to aa ja” ripoff danced to by the seductive Madame Sangeeta. When the farcical events on the screen appear meandering to nowhere, a sudden interlude provides the audience with some much-needed respite.

Suddenly, the rather genteel events on screen are interrupted by a stunning snake dance by Ms Voluptuous Thunder Thighs Mussy Shaheen. She performs a raunchy number where the camera tries to catch her knickers from all sorts of unlikely angles—mesmerising stuff, these “chaddee shots”. Then, the audience is treated to a series of almost surreal fight sequences with typically insane stunts involving men leaping up to 70 feet at a time! Bizarre, totally insane, wild stuff—but alas, even the sleazy dance, Mussy’s thunderous thighs, and the demented fight sequences can’t rescue the film from its inherent weakness, a lousy script and a non-existent plot.

Mera Naam Raja is, for all intents and purposes, a vehicle for the thespian talents of Habib (It’s a “Habib production,” after all). Though his diehard fans may delight in his antics, most filmgoers were not amused as the film died an ignominious death at the Box Office when released in 1978. The fact that the film was shot in black and white when most productions had adopted colour was another reason for its dismal failure. However, as with most awful movies, this one has a beautiful poster, which certainly would have fooled me into parting with my money—the poster is far more attractive than the film itself.