Tilismi Jazeera (1992)
Cast: Reema, Victoria, Ghulam Mohiuddin, Badar Munir, Asif Khan, Vika, Amna Hassan, Rangeela, Lada, Ajab Gul, Musha, Galia, Wasim Akram, Vyacheslav Kapleno & The Oshgord Dancing Group
Director: Saeed Rizvi
Synopsis: A co-production between The Rizvi’s of Pakistan and the nearly defunct Soviet Union (ironically Russia and Ukraine), the film is a clunky riot of dazzling monsters and special effects.
Reviewed by: Omar Khan

Tilismi Jazira was the first and highly unlikely co-production bringing together Russia, Ukraine and Pakistan. The driving force was Karachibased Saeed Rizvi and his clan, who had a hand in numerous aspects of the film. Saeed Rizvi is the director of Photography and the Director and Producer. He also lends his expertise to the Visual effects handled at his Novitas Laboratories in PECHS, Karachi. Masood Rizvi has written the story and screenplay, while Navid Rizvi serves as an Associate Producer. The Animation and Matte Painting are by Beenish Rizvi, and Khurshid Rizvi performs the Table Top Photography. Indeed, the Rizvis are the driving force behind this feature which was produced just around the time the wheels were coming off the old Soviet Union.

While the film was being shot, the financing started to dry up. It is questionable if the film was ever screened in Russia or Ukraine, even though during the film, it is evident that some of the dialogue is performed in Russian and not Urdu and must have been intended for

Soviet Bloc cinemas at some stage. However, there doesn’t seem to be any evidence the film made it to screens other than in Pakistan.

The synopsis from the official Booklet is a good insight into the action that follows on screen for the film’s duration.

“Tilismi Jazira” The Power of Magic cannot be denied. It has been there from time immemorial…..The power of darkness tries to overshadow the light of religion. Tilismi Jazira is the story of this struggle. Leiva, a thousand-year-old witch, transforms herself from a skeleton into a pretty woman by virtue of a potion prepared from the fresh blood of young men. With the help of her magical powers, she creates an island invisible to the outside world. She proclaims herself as the Evil Queen of the Island. This magical Island (Tilismi Jazira) is a trap for young men, who serve as the bloodline to keep Queen Leivia young, beautiful and immortal. The trouble starts when a stranded group of young boys and girls is caught by the soldiers of the Evil Queen. The group tactfully manages to escape, only to be chased by a giant cat and harassed by a dragon. Finally, the Evil Queen traps Tamy (Reema) and shrinks her into a very small size…… What will happen to the group? How will Tamy regain her original form? Will Queen Leivea reign forever?

The film begins with a coach full of students and their teacher (Ghulam Mohiuddin) on a trip to the countryside. Just as they are about to take a boat trip, a gnarled old man warns them of doom, informing them that those who have taken the boat trip have never returned to tell their tale. Those who have watched their horror movies diligently would already know that whenever an old crony warns of

Tilismi Jazeera impending disaster, you should always pay heed. Still, this jovial lot is undeterred and continues its journey onwards.

Not long into the boat trip, strange events seem to unnerve the revellers, and some suggest they should turn back before it’s too late. A skull appears, superimposed on the screen and fires off laser beams from his eye sockets. Soon the boat starts to malfunction and sink, but despite the grave danger, the students and their teacher manage to hang on and reach some land. They all mysteriously fall into a slumber as though transported into an enchanted land with not a poppy field in sight.

They awaken to be assailed by some tribal folk, who they manage to fend off and then moments later with a posse of Stormtrooper lookalikes with guns that fire off deadly lasers, causing havoc. Yet again, the students survive by dodging the lasers and heroically grappling with the evil Robot Men.

Fear grips the students, who start to wonder if there is any credence to the old man’s warning, but their teacher reminds them about their faith in Allah. They stoically continue realizing that the best approach now would be to try to find an escape from the enchanted Island.

Waves of horrible, nasty creatures, including Skulls, Savages, and Robot Monsters, continue to maraud and threaten their existence, yet the brave students ward them off with courage and bravery.

Suddenly they fall into a pit where they find horrible skeletal creatures as companions. Still, fortunately, the students discover that these hideous creatures are much more frightening in their appearance than their actions. The skeleton’s heads and limbs are lopped off with ease, which is a relief, but it is now increasingly an old crony warns of impending disaster, you should always pay heed. Still, this jovial lot is undeterred and continues its journey onwards.

Their subsequent encounter is with a giant Dragon with sharp fangs snapping at them ominously and seemingly somewhat peckish.

One of the students finds his way into the dragon’s jaws and is swiftly swallowed up, much to the horror of the remaining students. Once again, they collectively thwart the dragon, using their faith as their most potent defence weapon. However, the loss of one of their group is a cause for extreme consternation, and momentarily, the group starts to bicker and look for a scapegoat to blame.

The film now shows a sprawling underground cave city where a beautiful but evil Queen, Leivia, is exhorting her disciples to capture the students as she needs fresh blood to feed on. Disappointed at their failures thus far, she has a bit of a strop and conjures “Korba,” who turns out to be a little black cat. Korba is not just an ordinary cat and shoots death rays from its eyes as it prances forward to follow the Queen’s instructions. After Korba’s eyes start to glow, she starts to shift shape, and by the time she is above land, the little pussycat transforms into a deadly giant on a mission to kill.

The plucky students have mixed fortunes in defending themselves against waves of attack from the evil Queen. Mostly, they manage to survive, but they must encounter some unfortunate problems in their battle.

In the enchanted forest, they come across a hut where a yeti-like man lives. Played by Badar Munir, the brave man who has somehow managed to ward off the evil Queen, yearns for his daughter, who he has been separated from for an age. His unwavering faith keeps him going, and he comes to the help of the students when they find that one of their group, Tami (Reema), has been shrunk to the size of a Barbie Doll by the deadly rays of an evil white rabbit sent by the cunning and devious Queen. Confronted with this dreadful scenario, Badar Munir teams up with the students to discover the magic skull hidden in some cave which holds the key to Tami’s regeneration. Badar Munir is also informed that his daughter is not dead as he had feared, encouraging him to fight to the bitter end with renewed vigour and purpose.

Tilismi Jazeera Now all that remains is to see who will survive and what will be left of them? The film draws to its exhilarating conclusion with a mighty showdown with the most fearsome variety of assaults that the Queen summons.

Will faith win the day, or will the Queen quench her thirst with fresh man-blood and live eternally? Tilismi Jazeera lurches to its rousing conclusion with a spectacularly inept display of special effects, reminiscent of Hollywood films from the early 1930s. However, the hokey experience with shades of Mad Max, Tombs of the Blind Dead, Star Wars, The Land That Time Forgot, maybe a little Love Boat, and some Incredible Shrinking Man in the mix arrives at the climax with a spectacular feast of cut-price and less-than dazzling effects. The filmmakers’ enthusiasm makes up for the ineptitude, and the film manages to entertain despite its considerable technical shortcomings. Of the actors, Badar Munir stands out for his enthusiasm, and Reema screams and dodges laser guns adeptly. The rest are as animated as cardboard, while Ghulam Mohiuddin tries hard, and Rangeela is reduced to irritating buffoonery. It’s a disastrously inept film, but it aims high, and if the viewer is in a forgiving mood, it can be a bit of a giggle. Tilismi Jazira is a dreadful film but manages to make its sheer awfulness its main asset.