Shaitano Ka Honeymoon (1998)

Shaitano Ka Honeymoon begins with Charan Raj of Pratighaat fame enthusiastically heading off with his gorgeous new bride to the hills of Ooty for their honeymoon. Unfortunately, just as they enter what appears to be an extremely ominous jungle — complete with bats flapping around and cobras peeking menacingly from behind shrubbery — their car suddenly grinds to a mysterious halt.

Charan Raj discovers the axle has snapped.

Though his wife is thoroughly irritated by this most inconvenient development, the couple soon stumble upon a reasonably well-maintained haveli attended by a mother-and-son duo who kindly shelter them for the night and offer them one of the many vacant rooms.

Dolly Minhas instantly takes a dislike to the old woman despite the fact that she appears perfectly welcoming and hospitable. Her son Ganga handles errands around the property and farms the nearby land while sporting one of the most glorious moustaches ever committed to Indian cinema — somewhere along the lines of a particularly impressive mythological deity.

The following day, the jungle mysteriously seems to have lost half its trees and thick undergrowth, conveniently allowing Charan Raj and Dolly Minhas to break into a sizzling synchronised dance sequence before returning to the haveli/guest house.

Once again, the mysterious old woman tends lovingly to their needs and explains a little of the history behind the sprawling mansion. Apparently some old Raja Sahib built the haveli long ago to assist travellers who became lost in the forest.

Clearly a man of tremendous foresight.

Initially all seems perfectly well, and after some suitably steamy honeymoon activity, things begin heading south when Dolly suddenly screams upon spotting a ghost prowling outside while singing a mournful lament about how cruelly life has treated her and how thorn-filled her existence has become.

Unlike many ghosts inhabiting this genre, however, this particular spectre does not wear anklets, making the usual method of tracking her whereabouts considerably more difficult.

Charan Raj attempts to calm his increasingly terrified wife, ventures outside, locates the ghost, and more or less asks her politely to tone things down slightly, but sadly his diplomatic efforts fail miserably.

To his growing horror, he later returns to discover Dolly has completely vanished.

Curiously enough, rather than launching immediately into a desperate search operation, he appears to wait until the following morning, changes his outfit, and only then resumes looking for his missing bride in broad daylight.

Needless to say, the search proves entirely unsuccessful.

Dejected and increasingly bewildered, he returns to his room only to hear a series of hideous cackling noises sounding suspiciously like leftovers from The Evil Dead.

Following the horrifying racket, he eventually discovers a secret trapdoor hidden beneath the carpet and cautiously descends into the basement below, where the dreadful cackling grows even louder and more unholy.

Once underground, he encounters a collection of swaying skeletons and is violently assaulted by some unseen supernatural force before eventually summoning the courage to fight back.

Ultimately, he confronts a mysterious hooded figure dressed entirely in black and gives it a fairly solid thrashing before the creature escapes into the darkness. Much to his immense relief, however, Dolly is discovered alive and the newlyweds are happily reunited.

The couple immediately accuse the sinister old hag of orchestrating the entire nightmare, something she indignantly denies before stunning them with the revelation that she believes Dolly to be her long-lost granddaughter.

She further insists Dolly possesses two distinctive warts on her back — a claim that turns out to be spectacularly inaccurate.

Distraught and thoroughly flummoxed, the old woman then launches into what becomes an extremely lengthy flashback explaining the tragic fate of her granddaughter Sonia, who apparently bore an uncanny resemblance to Rajni/Dolly.

Twelve years earlier, four hoodlums stopped at the haveli and unleashed absolute havoc upon the family, sending the story plunging enthusiastically into familiar rape-revenge territory.

After committing their unspeakable crimes, the thugs dump Sonia’s corpse into a shallow muddy pit — only for the mud itself to begin oozing blood in what is arguably the single best moment in the entire film.

Before long, Sonia’s vengeful spirit rises from beyond the grave and begins stalking the four evildoers one by one, delivering supernatural justice in suitably melodramatic fashion.

The horror is piled on thickly as Sonia’s corpse lurches about menacing her attackers, though even after the expected revenge cycle plays itself out, the filmmakers still manage to throw in a final twist designed to leave audiences gasping at the conclusion.

Charan Raj perhaps lacks the commanding screen presence he displayed in Pratighaat, though he nevertheless cuts a stylish figure with his matching outfits and nifty dance moves.

Dolly Minhas fully justifies her billing as a “Sensation of Beauty,” but the film’s strongest performance easily comes from M. N. Lakshmi Devi as Daadi Maa, the gloriously sinister old hag.

The make-up effects are not remotely the worst the genre has produced either, with a pair of charred and bloodied hands emerging as the clear highlight.

Shaitano Ka Honeymoon follows the familiar path travelled by countless shoestring-budget Indian horror films. There are moments where the gore almost threatens to become genuinely shocking, though either censorship or lack of nerve prevents the film from fully committing itself.

Cobras and bats appear constantly throughout the runtime, usually lurking menacingly in the background without ever actually attacking anyone, serving mainly as atmospheric jungle décor.

The entire affair remains thoroughly predictable for the most part, but to the film’s credit it never entirely descends into boredom thanks largely to its refusal to overindulge in songs or subject viewers to endless comedy torture sequences.

Shaitano Ka Honeymoon is strictly for hardened addicts of Z-grade Bollywood horror cinema — though technically speaking, this appears to be a dubbed production, most likely originating from Telugu or Tamil cinema.

One or two genuinely decent moments combined with a magnificent title help matters somewhat, but overall this remains a fairly run-of-the-mill effort, almost — though not quite — rescued single-handedly by the magnificently sinister Lakshmi Devi.

Still, to its credit:

• there are no rubber masks,
• no endless sleazy nudity (sadly!),
• and relatively little unnecessary comic nonsense bogging proceedings down.

On the whole, it is undeniably a rather dire film.

Yet as humanity faces pandemics, global chaos, and assorted real-world nightmares, there are certainly worse ways to distract oneself for ninety minutes than with this gloriously ridiculous slice of jungle-haveli ghost nonsense.